That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
