i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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