And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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