i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
