I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
