need another drink. this is the easiest way
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize