and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
