I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
