He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize