pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
