Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
