Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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