As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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