if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
