Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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