Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
