i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
