And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
