is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
