yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sorry about my life...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
