JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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