Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
