I am in a vortex of obligation.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
