Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
