I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize