oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
