My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
