great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
