Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
