My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
