we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
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I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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