he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
