check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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