...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
