i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
