It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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