uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
