True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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