Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
