Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
