OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it's like iHOP with fire
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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