I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
