yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize