Plan B is the new Plan A
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize