I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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