Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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