I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
