guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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