First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
this hospital has no fireball
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
