SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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