Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
