i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
