I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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