EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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