I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Are we still banned from the library?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's