Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
