We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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