that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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