I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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