I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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