wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
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i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
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Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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